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Leave The Seat Down: Have A Bitch-Free Game Day


I know there are women out there that are into sports. They have their team, they know stats, the best players, when the games are, etc, etc. They care…..a lot. Their passion can often rival that of a man’s passion.

I’m not one of them.

I like baseball. It’s what I played when I was a kid (back before they started making girls that wanted to play little league play softball) and I loved the game. I loved it so much that I taught my little brother and cousin how to play and was at every single game of theirs. But that’s about as far as my love of sports goes.

Naturally, I would go on to marry a man who is a sports nut, with a particular love of the game of football. My husband is one of those men that, if there is a game of any sport (except for golf, tennis, or Nascar…he has very solid opinions on those), he will watch. But football….that is his passion. The man knows so much about football, it’s terrifying at times. He and I have been married for five years and, admittedly, I had a problem with my having to play second fiddle to the pigskin. I was one of those wives that bitched about it and it drove him nuts.

NOW, five years into the marriage, I’ve accepted the fact that, from roughly August to February, I am the mistress. I’m okay with it. But I didn’t get to be this way overnight. It took work on both our parts, but mostly, on his. I won’t say his game day is completely peaceful, because we do have three kids. But if you want to have a mostly peaceful and pleasurable game viewing experience, here are some tips.

The most important thing you can do is make sure that you aren’t being a big dick about things. Chances are, your lady won’t know when that one game is on that you just have to watch. Write it on the calendar. That way, she knows not to schedule anything that includes you on that day or in that time frame. That helps, more than you probably realize. In the beginning of our marriage, this was one of the biggest problems we had. I didn’t know when the game was and would make plans. Then he’d get pissed, a fight would happen, and one of us wouldn’t get our way. Avoid this and write it down. Also, give reminders too. We women have a lot on our minds.

Another thing you could do to help your case, especially if you have no kids, is suggest she go get a manicure and pedicure, that she go get a massage, or that she goes out to lunch with a friend. Make it seem like you want her to relax and have a little girl time. That way, you can watch your game in peace and you’ll score some major points. Want to add to those points? Offer to pay for it. “Babe, you’ve been working really hard lately. Go to the spa, get your nails done, get a massage, have coffee with your best friend(s). You’ve earned it. Here’s my credit card, enjoy your time!” It’s really that easy and, chances are, you’ll be able to squeeze a few games out of that one act.

Don’t make a huge mess and leave it for her to clean up. The very first time you do, it will stick with her and game day will become the most dreaded day for her, next to her period. We understand, you’re going to get loud, you’ll probably throw something, and snacks will get spilled a little. Clean it up yourself. Trust me when I say, this will also go along way for in the points department. This is especially true if you invite the guys over. Don’t be a bunch of slobs and she’ll be more likely to be cool with the frequency in which they come over.

Ladies, I have some tips for you as well. Your man is asking for anywhere from 3 hours to one day of time for himself. Give it to him and don’t nag him to death. This is a chance for you to do your own thing. Embrace that and run with it. I learned, pretty quickly, that if my husband was occupied with something else, I could do my own thing, like watch a movie I’ve wanted to watch or catch up with the DVR. You don’t have to be permanently attached to the man. Don’t be THAT chick. Believe it or not, you, too, can score some bonus points by simply doing two things. Don’t nag and make sure the beer is cold and the snacks are plentiful. Do those two things and he will think you are a freaking goddess!

Life is hard enough. Let game day come and go peacefully. For both you and her.

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