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Leave The Seat Down: A Man’s Guide to Moving In

move_in

You’ve met that one girl that you just absolutely hate being away from. Things are going great, she’s pretty amazing and you think she might be the one.

So you move in together.

Many men can feel lost when this happens, because making that adjustment from living in your own pad to co-habitating can be overwhelming. You don’t know what to expect, now that you are sharing your space with this girl. Sure, you’ve slept at her house before and she’s slept at yours, but this is MUCH different. You can’t go back to being the slob you generally are. No more pizza boxes just randomly left around, your counter space will be cut back even further. And let’s not even THINK about how you have to be around for that dreaded time of the month.

I’m here to help you make it through. These are the five most important things that you, as a male, need to know about living with a female. I’m going to share with you what it’s like from a female’s point of view. So, sit back, grab a drink and take notes.

The very first and most important think you should know is that we ladies find it sexy when you offer to help around the house. Sure, you may both work, but it’s not just your girl’s job to keep the place clean. Offer to clean a toilet every now and then. When you’ve finished dinner, offer to either help with the clean up or do it yourself. There is nothing more annoying than going to work, then coming home to have to cook AND clean. It’s fine when you live alone, not so much when you have another person who can help. Trust me; it will score you mega points.

Don’t bitch about the amount of toiletries she has. YOU may only need a bar of soap, some shampoo, a razor, shaving cream and after shave, but she doesn’t. She needs more. Some girls have and use more than others. Me, personally, I have a hairbrush, eye shadow, mascara and eye liner and that’s pretty much it. But I’m extremely low-key and not at all “girly”. If you love the way she looks when she goes out, embrace the amount of shit she requires to get ready. Along those same lines, don’t bitch about how long it takes her to get ready. Yes, she’s doing it for her, but you know what? She’s doing it for you too. Because, believe it or not, we ladies really DO care that you are being judged by who is on your arm. We want to make sure we look good.

We have our lazy days. Deal with it. This is ESPECIALLY true around “that time of the month”. We have days where we just feel like doing absolutely nothing, days where getting out of bed and putting pants on seems like too much work. On those days, expect take-out and possibly even a not so clean house. Don’t get pissy because of this. It just pisses us off and chances are, sex will be withheld that night. Instead, ask what you can do to help. Order the food or offer to pick it up. Cuddle on the couch or in bed and watch a movie. Chances are, our lazy day is a result of us feeling a little depressed. When that happens, more often than not, all we want is to just be with you.

Last, but not least, understand that, after a few months of living together, all notions of prim and properness are out the window. You will hear us burp, you will hear us fart and we will stop sneaking into the bathroom after you’ve gone to sleep to drop a load in the toilet. We are human; we do the same things you do. Some of us (like me), may even shock you by exposing that we are every bit as disgusting as you are. This may come as a shock to you, but we do, sometimes, rate our burps or farts. We try to hide it at first because we want to impress you. Once you move in and we get comfortable, expect to see a side of us that you’ve never seen before. Love that side, because that means you’ve done something right and we trust you.

Looks, it’s really not that hard to live with your lady. Sure, it takes a little adjusting and a ton of compromise. But at the end of the day, you’ll get to see a side of her that people rarely get to see. It could very well be a side that will make you fall even harder for this amazing chick.

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